PumpfunCA : PUMP
Tracking peak NPC trading behavior since 2025
NOOB SCORE
Current market cluelessness level
DAILY NOOBS
Bad trades recorded today
NOOB INTENSITY
Average clueless decision severity
The Noob Index ($iNOOB) is a proprietary measure of collective cluelessness, questionable trading decisions, and peak NPC behavior in the cryptocurrency market. Similar to how the S&P 500 tracks America's largest companies, the Noob Index tracks America's most clueless traders.
Founded in 2025 by a committee of reformed noobs, the Noob Index aggregates data from thousands of sources including:
Our proprietary algorithm converts these data points into a single, easy-to-understand number that tells you exactly how clueless the market participants are right now.
As you can see, cluelessness peaks around market close when everyone checks their red portfolios and questions their life choices.
Peak noob hours: 3 PM when bad decisions compound. Lowest: 3 AM when everyone's asleep and can't make more mistakes.
Step 1: Embrace Your Inner NPC
Before investing in the Noob Index, take a moment to accept that you're about to invest in an index that tracks clueless trading behavior. You are now part of the index. Welcome.
Step 2: Connect Your Wallet
Use any Solana-compatible wallet. We recommend Phantom, but honestly any wallet works because you're making a questionable decision regardless of which one you choose.
Step 3: Buy $iNOOB on Pump.fun
Navigate to the Pump.fun listing (link in header). Buy as much or as little as you want. The amount doesn't matter because you're investing in peak NPC behavior, not actual utility.
Step 4: Watch the Index
Refresh this page compulsively. Watch the Noob Score go up when traders make terrible decisions en masse. Watch it slightly decrease during those rare moments of market wisdom (approximately once per quarter).
Step 5: Become the Index
When your investment inevitably goes down, you've successfully become part of the data we're tracking. You are now both investor and index participant. Peak NPC behavior achieved.
Q: Is this a real index fund?
A: As real as your trading strategy (so no).
Q: What is the Noob Index actually tracking?
A: Peak NPC behavior. Clueless decisions. That voice in your head that says "maybe this time will be different" right before you buy the top.
Q: Who created this?
A: A council of reformed noobs who have accepted their fate and decided to monetize the collective cluelessness of crypto traders everywhere.
Q: Can I short the Noob Index?
A: That would require market intelligence, which is incompatible with this project.
Q: What happens when the Noob Score reaches 1000?
A: The index resets to 420 and we all collectively celebrate peak degeneracy before returning to making terrible decisions.
Q: Is there a white paper?
A: Yes, it's one page with an NPC meme and the text "NGMI" in 48-point font.
The Noob Index is a satirical measure of clueless trading behavior and should not be considered financial advice. $iNOOB is a memecoin with no inherent value, utility, or purpose other than to track peak NPC behavior. Please do not invest money you cannot afford to lose, which is probably all of it if you're reading this. NPC mode activated.